It’s okay to have the feelings.
It’s a tricky subject these days — because there are just so many feelings and they can tend to be allowed to reign and rule and then become the kinds of things that need Legos to calm down. (insert eye roll here) It would seem that culturally, we have gone from days where feelings were never allowed to show (think back to solemn portraiture and too many emotions being banned on the Sabbath!!) to now where how people FEEL is on display and the loudest and chaotic.
I do believe, as with all things, it’s about balance. There is a big difference between a belief and an emotion. A deep-set, well-understood belief system is vital to knowing who one is. Emotions happen and deserve to be looked at, felt, dealt with, and then healed, if needed. I believe that feelings, out of control, are why folks use substances, can’t cope, and act badly. There is a lot of pain that needs to be acknowledged; and there are most certainly ways to do that well and effectively. It’s a big topic. Too big for one of 91 Little Things, to be sure.
But what I have realized lately, is that it is possible, and very allowed to have two conflicting feelings simultaneously.
- I have a daughter entering her third trimester of her first pregnancy. She is most certainly expressing feelings of the most excitement to meet her little man, as well as the most apprehension regarding what is to come! Both the most legitimate and opposite feelings.
- There are times when I have a houseful of people and I remember our purpose and revel in making it all happen and also need to go cry in my bedroom because I am over-stimulated and weary beyond words.
- I have heard my sweet man express his joy of making deals happen and thriving as a business owner while also wondering if he is even capable of doing it all.
- I love animals and absolutely DESPISE with every fiber of my being whatever animal has been killing my chickens night after night. :o(
- It is very possible to love God, AND be weeping and begging for answers from Him because we just don’t understand. This is a big one. And He can handle it.
I do think it’s important, that we acknowledge and are willing to stare down our feelings. Too much stuffing happens and often, we don’t feel like there is room to feel at all — let alone more than one thing at a time.
The first step is identifying where we sit on the inside. The second is knowing where to bring all of it. The third is being willing to let it go and heal.
I have a visual I have used more times than I can count. I know I have a Daddy Who loves me and has told me He holds all of my tears in a bottle. That means that He sees and cares — just like He said He does about those sparrows (and my hens). I picture running to His lap and setting my backpack full of hurt or sad or worries at His feet and leaving it there long enough to be held and heard. There is where I sit until it’s all poured out, and I feel ready to walk away, restored.
Do you have conflicting emotions? Can you put into words why those might be difficult to allow to share in your brainspace? I’d love for you to chime in on this with me. Please comment below.