I had a dear friend whose dream of being a grandma is in its infancy (wink) ask me to re-visit some of my first Mimi moments. It is especially poignant for me right now as our first little grandson is weeks away from looking into our eyes. There is something about your child having a child that is like no other feeling in the world. The bitter and sweet feelings are exquisite and powerful, as you know the pain your baby girl will experience followed by the most love and joy humanly possible. I would take it for them if I could, yet, I wonder if that would ruin something.
The essence of being a mother is taking on as much as you can for them when you’re able while allowing them to move through what they need to in order to become all they are meant to be.
That is the balancing act that keeps us up at night. Our strongest instinct scream PROTECT! yet we know the pain has value — it morphs into strength and dependence on One.
I looked back to when I first learned of our sweet Josephine. We called her Poppy until we knew her name. She was the size of a poppy seed when we learned of her — a world-changing life the size of a speck! The love I have for each of our four grands is inexplicable — and GRAND, indeed! It’s the love I have for my children expanded and plus and extra. You who are grandparents will understand this. Perhaps this is why we get softer and kinder (or should anyway) as we get older — our hearts have grown to encircle more.
I have absolutely fallen in love with each of them and amazingly, they bring out the best in me! Love does that, right? Josephine Elizabeth was the harbinger — the trailblazer. She began the process followed by our precocious, precious Aveline Joy, and our darling little Louisa Mae.
This post called I’m in Love with a Grandpa from 2013 was fascinating to revisit seven years later:
You, my precious little grandbaby, are a dream come true. Not only for your Momma and Daddy (because you surely are to them), but also for your newly dubbed Papa and Mimi.
Today I saw your beautiful picture for the first time, and as I stared for the first time at your precious little profile, I knew this priceless circle of love that wrapped all different pieces of my heart into one instant and made me weep with joy.
In one instant, I loved your Papa even more for loving me in the first place and for so long so we could get to this exquisitely beautiful and poignant time in our lives.
I am in love with a grandpa. Wow.
But, when you meet him, you’ll see why. He may be a grandpa, but a finer one you’ll never meet. With him, you are in for a million giggles and snuggles and moments you’ll never forget. You are his dream come true that I bet he never even knew he had.
And in that same instant that I first saw you, your momma called me and she was full of giggles and joy like I may never have heard in her before. You see, she knows that you’re her dream come true. Even when she was in the solid shape of a stinker for a few years there, she dreamed of you. Before she ever met your daddy she dreamed of you. While she pretended out of protection for her heart that motherhood was last on her list, she dreamed of this moment. She was scared that you were too good to be true.
But you’re not.
And your daddy. I loved him in that moment even more than before. You are most certainly his dream come true because you are a precious extension of the love he has for your momma. And, boy, does he love your momma! He would do anything for her. I’ve seen it. She was super sick last week, and your daddy called in sick to take care of her. He washed her hair and ran to the store three times for Popsicles and asparagus and other such randomness, and carried her from room to room. Just wait ’til he gets a chance to love you.
And in that moment, I looked across the table at your Uncle Buffalo and Aunt Kiki (because I’m sure that’s what you’ll call them) and saw the smiles they couldn’t have hidden even if they tried.
Oh, my. The trouble you’re going to get in with those two. And spoiled……the world hasn’t seen the likes of that kind of spoiled to date. And fun!! Oh, the fun you’re going to have. Horse rides, and target practice, and buffalo adventures, and four-wheelers, and way too much junk food.
And Mimi and Poppa will be smiling. And remembering your momma when she was little like you. And perhaps shedding a tear here and there at the absolute wonder of the speed of time. But those tears won’t last but a moment. ‘Cause I’ll have pancakes to make and lullabies to sing and tea parties to plan with you, precious punkin’.
Yours is gonna be a good, good life.
Right now, as you’re being formed so lovingly and carefully inside your momma, plans are being made for you. My favorite Psalm that I memorized says that you are covered in your momma’s womb. That your frame is not hidden from the Creator of the whole world while you are being skillfully made. That your days are already planned and known before we have even counted one! How amazing is that?
You have such purpose already!
Even more purpose than any of us know how to dream.
We have known about you since you were the size of a poppyseed (hence the nickname). Now you are the size of a peach! You’ve grown so much in these few little weeks!
We’ve bathed you in prayer from the moment we heard you were on your way to us. You are a miracle. A masterpiece.
You are so very loved.
Now, I just have to wait to squish and kiss and dress and play with you. I will do my best to be patient. I will keep praying since you have so much more growing to do. And I’ll keep taking pictures of your momma’s tummy even though she’s been pretty shy about that so far. She’s never had a tummy before; it’s pretty funny and super cute.
I love you so very much, little Poppy. On this Mother’s Day, you are a gift I will never forget. You are the essence of how our God makes beauty from ashes. On a day that could, in another realm, be a tricky day for this grandma of yours, I am instead, full to overflowing at the reminder of the goodness of our God. I pray, above all else, that you know His love deep, deep in your very soul. There is no greater joy.
With so much love,
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